Big Dicker Read online

  Contents

  Big Dicker

  DESCRIPTION

  CHAPTER ONE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER TWO - DELPHI

  CHAPTER THREE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER FOUR - DELPHI

  CHAPTER FIVE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER SIX - DELPHI

  CHAPTER SEVEN - JIMMY

  CHAPTER EIGHT - DELPHI

  CHAPTER NINE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER TEN - DELPHI

  CHAPTER ELEVEN - JIMMY

  CHAPTER TWLEVE - DELPHI

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN - JIMMY

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN - DELPHI

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN - JIMMY

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN - DELPHI

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - JIMMY

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - DELPHI

  CHAPTER NINETEEN - JIMMY

  CHAPTER TWENTY - DELPHI

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - DELPHI

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR - DELPHI

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX - DELPHI

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN - JIMMY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - DELPHI

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER THIRTY - DELPHI

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO - DELPHI

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR - DELPHI

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX - DELPHI

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN - JIMMY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT - DELPHI

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER FORTY - DELPHI

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE - JIMMY

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO - DELPHI

  EPILOGUE - ASSHOLE ALCOR

  END OF BOOK SHIT

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Edited by RJ Locksley

  Cover Design: JA Huss

  Cover Photo Sara Eirew

  Copyright © 2019 by JA Huss

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN-978-1-950232-00-0

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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  DESCRIPTION

  KC Cross is the pen name of New York Times bestselling author, JA Huss.

  Welcome to Mighty Minions Resort.

  Jimmy’s personal hell.

  All Jimmy wants is a booster shot of DNA scrambler so he never has to find his one-true soul mate. But life rarely goes the way you plan it.

  After dropping Xyla off on Blue Sand Beach for a little vacay with her sexbot girlfriends the Big Dicker has to make an emergency landing on the demon-themed Mighty Minions Resort. Picture hordes of exasperated parents, sticky, crying kids, and a park AI that seems determined to suck every credit out of his Harem Station bank account.

  The only good thing about Mighty Minions from Jimmy’s perspective—it’s not the place you meet your soul mate.

  Until outlaw Cygnian princess, Delphi, shows up and shatters all his best-laid plans.

  But Delphi isn’t there to fall in love with Jimmy.

  She’s there to kidnap him and take him back to her boss, the Loathsome One.

  Big Dicker is a full-length, romp-y, Sci-Fi Romance that features hot, soul-mate sex on a family-friendly resort, a sentient ship with a strip poker problem, three drunk-outlaw sexbots on vacay, a crazy, but misunderstood, dragonbee bot, and an evil villainess who has big plans for Jimmy’s sperm.

  CHAPTER ONE - JIMMY

  The Vacation Sector isn’t a place I usually spend time. Hell, I don’t even pass through here even though there are more than two hundred different gates in this sector that go to pretty much anywhere you can think of in the galaxy.

  Too much traffic. Too many people. I hate people.

  Spending those first several years on Harem Station with just ALCOR, Xyla, and my brothers changed me, I think.

  Before we had to run from Wayward Station I was a pretty sociable guy. Hell, my father was a diplomat and his hope was that I’d take his place when he retired, so I went to all the parties and met all the people.

  At least… that’s what I thought he wanted for me.

  Before I learned the truth about who and what I am.

  Crux told me his Corla story about six months after we arrived on what was then called ALCOR Station. ALCOR had whipped up some fermented wine from printed fruit for us to celebrate my birthday and we got a little bit drunk, so Crux’s whole sordid tale came burbling out of his mouth unasked for.

  I knew parts of it already. I knew we helped Corla escape, I knew everyone was pissed about that. But that’s it. That’s all I really knew.

  It grossed me out, to be honest. The creepy ceremony and breeding just gave me the fucking shivers. So when ALCOR finally let us leave the station several years later, the first thing Xyla and I did was book on over to a biogenetics lab just off the Outlaw Highway and have a DNA signature scrambler made.

  If I ever did get caught by the Cygnians or the Akeelians there was no way in hell they’d figure out who I was. And I would not be forced into some creepy breeding ceremony because the DNA signature scrambler would make sure there was no true soulmate for me.

  Pretty clever, I think. It was Xyla’s idea. She’s been around. She knows things.

  The DNA signature scrambler bought me time, at least. If I ever did get caught it would take my captors a little while to figure out there was something wrong and maybe that’s all the time I need to make an escape.

  The scrambler wears off but I go back every year to get a boost.

  Xyla and I talked about this stuff ad nauseam back in the day. Came up with dozens of scenarios and plans of escape should I ever get caught and once we acquired Dicker about a decade ago, we clued her in. Inputting all kinds of sequences into her core for what to do in case of a capture scenario.

  But… time passed. Lots of time passed, actually. And no Akeelians or Cygnians ever came looking for me. Did they forget about us? Did they move on to phase two of their diabolical plan with new violet-eyed boys?

  Hard to tell.

  But I did move on. I got a little relaxed. A little bit complacent, maybe.

  But now? I laugh to myself as Dicker takes us towards the docking station of Blue Sand Beach. Oh, hell the fuck no. As soon as I drop Xyla off here to meet up with her friends for some girl time, I’m going right to the biogenetics lab to make sure all my shit is up to date.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” Xyla asks. She’s autoshopping from the pilot’s chair, cycling through all kinds of skimpy bikinis and summery dresses for her ten spins in the sun. Which I find kinda cute, if I’m being honest. She’s been looking forward to this reunion with her sex-bot girlfriends, Cha-Cha and Ladybug, for months. Cha-Cha is Luck’s partner now. Ever since Valor decided to stay back on Harem to help Tray manage all that Baby ALCOR AI bullshit Luck has been on his own.

  But Cha-Cha is a long-time friend of Xyla’s so I think it’s working out OK.

  “Me on a Blue Sand beach with three former sexbots?” I say. “No, thanks. I’ll be fine. Dicker and I have plans
.”

  “To do what?”

  “To just… chill, ya know. I told you. We’re just gonna float around and take it easy. Besides, it’s not fair if we both go down and Dicker can’t.”

  “I don’t mind,” Dicker says in her sweet, yet seductive voice. “You can go—”

  “No,” I say, cursing Dicker for being so selfless. “No. I’m not leaving you alone up here.”

  “I don’t think you two should be alone either,” Xyla says, pouting her new lavender synthetic lips as she looks over at me. They glitter a little too. Kinda flashy. “That meeting with the Angel people was kinda intense. Maybe I should skip my trip and we should go back to Harem and let everyone know what they said?”

  “Xyla,” I say. “That’s dumb. We’re already here. Just enjoy yourself. We’re fine.”

  The Angel Station people were not what I expected. They looked normal. They weren’t sex-bots or anything. Just your average people. Could fit in to any Akeelian society just fine, I suppose. But I don’t think they’re a bunch of runaway Akeelians like us. They kept asking me about gate maps. Could I give them a gate map for all the gates ALCOR knew about and shit like that?

  And then, when I told them that ALCOR was dead and I could probably ask the Baby ALCOR if he had some master gate list, but it wasn’t likely, they lost interest and left.

  We were out on some random station near a tiny, lackluster sun called Gliese. And even though I’m a decent diplomatic representative for Harem Station, I was annoyed beyond belief by the time we were heading back to the gate to get the fuck out of there.

  The abandoned station was creepy too. Reminded me way too much of Harem before my brothers and I arrived.

  “They didn’t tell us anything time-sensitive anyway,” I say. They didn’t really tell us anything at all, actually. “So we can’t do much until we find that Veila girl. And that’s not our job. Serpint can do it. Or Luck. He seems more than happy to be the new booty hunter. Is he here yet?”

  “He dropped Cha-Cha off earlier in the spin,” Dicker says. “Lady Luck didn’t mention where they were going afterward.”

  “What are you gonna do then?” Xyla says. “Just float around up here and wait for me? Because that sounds dumb too. You should at least go somewhere fun. There’s a planet over here that has karkadann races. You’ve never seen those. It’s pretty cool. And they have a virtual made just for ships there too. You guys should go do that.”

  It does sound kinda fun. Karkadanns are pretty rare. Muscular, monstrous equines with thick plates of organic armor and a single, curved horn between their eyes. But I wouldn’t want to go without Xyla. There’s not much I would want to do without Xyla—except go take care of this biogenetic stuff.

  I just don’t want her to know that’s what I’m doing because then she’ll figure out I’m a lot more worried about this whole Cygnian soulmate bullshit than I’m letting on. She’d never get off this ship if she knew what was whirling through my head and how freaked out about it I am.

  Dicker starts announcing our docking sequence as we are grabbed by the tractor beam and slowly pulled towards the airlock we were assigned to for dropoff.

  “We’ll be fine,” I tell Xyla, who has made her shopping decisions and sent them down to Blue Sand Beach for pickup when she arrives, and is now unbuckling her harness to go grab her pack.

  “I know you will,” she calls over her shoulder. Then she turns and smiles at me, her lavender hair pulled back into a tight ponytail and her normally matte-black upper body now sporting a light shade of purple. Her legs are still silver but her feet are flat, and not molded into stilettos, because she’s ready for the beach.

  Dicker completes docking and green lights flash as the Blue Sand Beach arrival station chimes, “Welcome to Blue Sand Beach. The only planet in the Vacation Sector designed for discriminating adults. Please exit your ship…” and blah, blah blah.

  The outer airlock opens, then the inner one, and then there’s a clear path into the station.

  Still, Xyla hesitates. “Maybe I shouldn’t go.”

  “Go,” I say, commanding her. “We’re fine. Dicker and I will just dick around a little and be back for you in ten days. Just have fun. You earned it.”

  She makes a concerned face at me.

  “Go,” I say again.

  “Fine.” She sighs. “But I’m not gonna have fun knowing you two are up here all alone with nothing to do.”

  I smile at her. “You better have fun. Or I’ll be pissed. Ten days on Blue Sands is a small fortune.”

  She shakes her head and smiles. “You'll call me if you need anything, though, right? I’ll have my comm turned on the whole time.”

  “I will. Now go.”

  Xyla shoots me one last regretful look, then turns and saunters out the airlock. She stops at the end of the hall, just before our airlock closes, and waves. Then she’s gone.

  I let out a long sigh of relief. “OK, Dicker. Just us now.”

  “Where should we go? To that karkadann place? I’d like to see that virtual.”

  “Sending you coordinates now.”

  “Oh,” Dicker says, just a moment later. “What’s this? And why didn’t you tell Xyla this was the plan?”

  “Because you know how she worries. She’d never get off the ship. And she’s been looking forward to this reunion for months. It’s just a simple booster, that’s all. Just to make sure that if I ever do run into my stupid Cygnian soulmate, there’s no possible way I’ll ever get stuck with her.”

  Dicker lets off a little laugh. “You can’t outrun your fate, Jimmy. It always catches up with you eventually.”

  Maybe not, I think to myself. But stacking the odds in my favor can’t hurt either.

  CHAPTER TWO - DELPHI

  My first glimpse of Jimmy, Xyla, and the Big Dicker was back on the ship stop closest to Harem Station. It’s one of the ship stops only outlaws frequent. But it’s also one of their usual haunts when they travel. I was waiting for them for weeks. After we learned about what happened at Bull Station things got pretty tense where I was and I was ordered to put the plan in motion.

  My little dragonbee bot, Flicka, had already infiltrated the ship stop’s maintenance logs and inserted a virus that would automatically load itself deep inside Dicker’s core the next time they came by, so after that it was just a waiting game.

  Getting to Jimmy wasn’t going to be an issue. I was pretty confident about that part of my plan. Xyla… she was a whole other issue that needed to be dealt with.

  But fate finds a way.

  When they passed through the ship stop a few spins ago and I learned that Jimmy was on his way to drop Xyla off on Blue Sand Beach for a girlfriend getaway, I knew this was going to be OK. Everything would work out.

  So now I’m following them in my ship, the Queen Bee, and we’re hovering just a few million klicks out from the Blue Sand Beach station. Waiting to activate the virus and follow them.

  “Xyla has been logged into Blue Sand arrivals,” Queenie says.

  “Perfect,” I say. “Don’t lose them.”

  “As if,” Queenie retorts.

  She’s more confident than I am because the Big Dicker is a much more sophisticated piece of equipment than Queenie is. I’d never tell her that to her interface, but it’s true. We don’t have an ALCOR AI to provide us with all kinds of fancy, new upgrades. I’ve heard that he makes his own sentient ships out on Harem Station. So it’s very possible that there’s some component inside Dicker that will identify my virus and disable it before it can get a foothold.

  And if that happens all of my carefully laid plans will be worthless.

  I need this to work. I need them to break down and make an unscheduled service stop so everything hinges on what happens in the next few hours.

  “Dicker is in undocking sequence,” Queenie says.

  “Good,” I whisper, eyes locked on the large screen above me. I lean forward, trying to get a better look at Jimmy’s ship. She’s very sleek
and long, with an ample cargo bay on her underside meant to hold crews of bots. That’s what they do. They liberate bots and borgs from their masters and give them a new home on Harem where all their restrictions are removed in exchange for five hundred spins of servitude.

  I admit, it’s a pretty nice deal if you’re a bot.

  They do this with sentient ships too. If they make it to one of the two ALCOR security gates and surrender, ALCOR will tow them through the gate, dock them into a medical bay, and then sign them over to someone trustworthy on Harem to give them a new life.

  This is totally illegal in Prime Space. But even before the Prime Navy made an alliance with Harem after the explosions at Bull Station, they didn’t interfere. If your sentient ship decided to bail and made it to Harem, it was gone for good. They would not go in to recover them.

  Since I started working with Queenie a few months ago I’ve often wondered if she would ever abandon me like this. She’s capable of it, that’s for sure. I don’t trust her and I doubt she trusts me, but she’s getting something out of this partnership just like I am. You’d think she’d do as she’s told, but sentient ships are sneaky fuckers. Which is why they’re not allowed to exist without a responsible party being in charge of them.

  ALCOR knows this is a hard-and-fast rule so he makes sure all his sentient ships leave Harem with their new responsible party. At least he did. Before the Prime Navy made that alliance.

  But now? There’s no telling what that insane AI will do. It could be that autonomous sentient ships will be common in the years ahead.

  Everyone is on edge over this. What will the galaxy look like with free sentient ships all over the place? They are all so dangerous. Pretty much everyone agrees that autonomous ALCOR is bad enough.

  But… what if he did that with other AI’s too?

  The only thing we have going for us as far as that little scenario goes is that sentient AI’s are locked onto stations and planets and can’t leave.