Mr & Mrs Read online

  “He’s not an alcoholic,” I say, shooting Katja a look.

  She shoots one back. “I didn’t say that.”

  “I know he’s not an alcoholic, you guys,” Cindy says. “I’ve lived with him for a year now. Which is why last night kinda worries me. You’re right, Ollie. He doesn’t go on binges unless shit is really wrong.”

  “So what’s wrong with him?” I ask. Now it’s Katja’s turn to shoot me a look. “What?” I ask.

  “I’m still trying to figure it out. We’re going on a date today.”

  “That sounds fun,” Kat says, folding her legs underneath her as she relaxes on the couch. “What are you guys gonna do?”

  “I don’t know yet. It was his idea, but then he looked really worried that he might not come up with something worthy of the day before our wedding. So I told him I’d do it.”

  I say, “You should hang out with all of us.”

  “No,” Kat says. “They want to be alone, Oliver. Not hang out with a bunch of people.”

  “Yeah, which is why I suggested it. I still can’t picture my little sister with my best friend.”

  “I’ll think of something,” Cindy says. “If there’s one thing I’ve got going for me, it’s my bountiful imagination.”

  “I’m pretty sure Mysterious is far more interested in your bountiful other things.”

  They both shoot me a look.

  Then Cindy stands up and says, “You guys should go on a date too.” But she’s talking to Katja, not me. “Keep my brother out of my business. Because I might punch him if he doesn’t get over this stupid little sister bullshit.”

  “You’re the one who came over here,” I shout. But she’s already gone.

  “What is your problem?” Kat asks.

  “My problem is that my best friend stole my baby sister.”

  “Stole her, Oliver? Really? Stole her?”

  “Yeah,” I say. “Like how is this rocket science? I got one little sister, Kat. One. And he took her. It’s not right.”

  “She tricked him.”

  “She was practically a baby when that happened.”

  “It was last year.”

  “Exactly my point! Besides, he’s Mr. fucking Mysterious. He can’t figure out the jailbait girl at his front door bringing him sandwiches—who looks exactly like my mom, by the way!—is off limits?”

  Katja just laughs at me. “You’re being ridiculous.”

  “I’m being…? No. He stole my sister.”

  She scrunches her eyebrows up at me. Opens her mouth. Pauses. Then says, “You’re not mad at Five. And if you ask me, he did a lot worse than sweep your sister off her feet.”

  “Five’s different,” I say. “I mean, come on. He’s Five.”

  “So? Pax is one of your oldest friends. He’s saved your ass, right? He’d do anything for you. You’ve barely seen Five, yet you make all the excuses for him.”

  “Five and Rory… well, it’s just different, Kat. You don’t understand.”

  “Then explain it to me.”

  “They’re like… soulmates. They’ve known each other since birth. Rory belonged to Five before I was even born. It’s… it’s just different.”

  “OK,” she says. “But you know what?”

  “What?” I ask, tired of this conversation.

  “I have no family, Oliver.” I look over at her. Suddenly feeling stupid. “No one but you. I have no parents, my sister is dead, everything is gone.”

  “I didn’t mean it… I mean… I’m sorry, Kat.”

  “Don’t be sorry for me. I have so much more now that I became part of your world. And I consider Pax a friend. More than just a friend. He’s like a brother now. And Mac too. And Nolan, and West. They’re the brothers I never had. And I think we both know that if I was in trouble and you weren’t around, I could go to them—any of them—and they’d take care of me. But you know exactly who I’d go to first, right?”

  I roll my eyes.

  “Say it,” she says. “Because you need to stop this stupidity and admit what you won’t.”

  “Fine,” I say. “You’d go to Pax. He’d take care of everything like it never happened. You’d never get caught. I should be happy he’s the one taking care of my sister. I should get over it and wish them well, etc, etc, etc.”

  She just does one of those little huffs. Like a laugh, but not a laugh.

  “What now?”

  “You really can’t see what you’re doing?”

  “What am I doing?”

  She crawls across the couch and places herself in my lap, both hands on my cheeks as she stares down at me. She kisses me. Just a small kiss. But she’s smiling as she does it. I can feel her grin.

  “You’re being you, I guess.”

  I think about that for a second. “You make that sound like a bad thing.”

  “Nope,” Kat whispers, still kissing me. But then she sighs and drops her head to my chest. “Your sister—not Cindy, Rory—she’s amazing.”

  “Yeah,” I say. Even though I barely know her. What I know of Rory is mostly based on memory. And those memories are mostly that summer Five came home. And I tricked her, and I tricked him, and things were good, and the days were long, and hot, and perfect.

  “Cindy and I tried on our dresses last night.”

  “Yeah?” I ask. I cannot fucking wait to see Katja in her dress. I’m really looking forward to this wedding. Not just for us—even though I think we need this milestone—but the whole thing. All the guys and all their girls. And Five is gonna marry Rory for real. It’s just… kinda great.

  “And Cindy said she was having second thoughts about her dress. That it was too risqué, and showed too much leg. But I said, ‘That’s just you, right? So why not be you on your special day?’ And Cindy said, ‘Yeah. You’re right. Maybe it needs to be even sexier?’”

  “Jesus…” I moan.

  “So Rory says, ‘I can alter it if you want. Make it your dream dress.’”

  “God, she’s just like my mom.” I like hearing this stuff about Rory.

  “So she does that. She adds some lace and cuts a slit, and starts sewing. And then Rory looks at me and says, ‘Is this your dream dress, Kat?’ I like how she calls me Kat and not Katja. Like we’re already old friends. So I say, ‘Yeah. Pretty much.’ I feel like I tried on hundreds of dresses and every time I thought one was better than the rest. It was almost too much, ya know? And now I think maybe I made a mistake. So Rory says, ‘What would you do different?’ So I say… ‘I’d maybe like it to be a little more traditional. You know, like glass beads and shit.’”

  I’m transfixed as I picture the whole scene.

  “So Rory says, ‘I have some glass beads. Should I sew them onto your bodice?’ And I say, ‘Yeah, do it.’ So she does. Well, she’s doing it today or did it last night, or whatever. All I know is that it’s special, right? That your sister is adding to my dress. I love it actually. Because I love her. I love all of them. Even bitchy Ariel.”

  I snort-laugh at that.

  “I feel like… I’m gaining so much, ya know? Even though I’m still pretty new and your mom looks at me funny sometimes, I think one day it’ll all be normal.”

  I hug her close. Hold her tight. Kiss her neck. “I’m sorry your family is gone. But Mariel will be here too.”

  “I know.” She smiles. “I know. I love Mariel.”

  And I suddenly get it. “And you love Pax because of Mariel,” I say.

  She nods. “I think so. He’s nice to me. So it’s like… he’s family in all the ways, Oliver. You’re lucky to have so much family. You should enjoy him. And he and Cindy are perfect for each other. Leave them alone. Be supportive. It’s not really him you’re mad at anyway.”

  Then she gets up and says, “I’m taking a shower. Come fuck me against the wall.”

  I laugh. And follow her in. And I do fuck her against the wall.

  But then later, when I’m holding her hand and we’re walking up to Rory’s house to find s
ome breakfast, I wonder what she meant about that statement.

  Who does she think I’m really mad at?

  Chapter Thirteen - FIVE

  I’m outnumbered. That’s the thing when you live on an island with nothing but females. Well, mostly females. We have a cook who’s a guy. And the helicopter pilot, he’s a guy. And we used to have a horse trainer who was a guy. But he’s been gone for a while now and the cook doesn’t even talk to me because I’m kind of a picky eater, and the pilot is, well, only here to fly the fucking helicopter, and helicopters aren’t really conducive for complaining about your wife and daughters ganging up on you.

  So it’s just me and them.

  And right now, they’re all glaring at me. Even Louise is against me. Sweet, tiny, five-year-old Louise stomps her foot and says, “I wanna go to school too!”

  Jesus.

  “You’re not part of this conversation.” I say, pointing my finger at her. She stomps her foot again, crosses her arms in defiance, and then pouts her lips. “Go play,” I say, pointing to her and Mathilda. They both hesitate, wondering how far they should push this. But I make dad eyes at them and that’s all it takes.

  They sulk off, complaining the whole time.

  I take my attention back to Ellie, Ming, Rory, Ana, and Isa. Five fucking girls. All of them against me.

  “Listen,” I say, switching into my reasonable voice.

  “No, you listen,” Rory says. “Ming is here, we’ve been planning this for months, and the girls want to take the test. Don’t you, girls?”

  There is a chorus of, “Yes, Daddy! We do!” And I wonder if they plan that twin shit, or if they make that harmony just on instinct? I should ask my brother and sister. They’re twins too.

  “You’re not gonna win,” Mac says from the kitchen. He’s leaning against the countertop eating a bowl of cereal, acting like this is no big deal. “Just let them take the test. What can it hurt?”

  What can it hurt? I sigh. It can ruin everything. All the planning and shit we’ve been doing for… well, half our lifetimes, it seems now.

  “It’s not far from us,” Mac continues. “We’ll keep an eye on them.”

  I shoot Rory a look. Because there’s no way she’s gonna let her little girls go off to boarding school. No way. If they go, we all go. And this island life will be over.

  I run my fingers through my hair and turn to look out the window. Take it all in. Already missing it.

  “Fine,” I whisper.

  And the entire room erupts in cheers.

  I don’t cheer. Or feel happy. In fact, I think I’m the only one on this island who thinks today is the worst day ever.

  “Let’s go, girls,” Ming says. “I’m ready when you are.”

  It’s a long test. Like four parts to it or something like that. I took it once. A long time ago in some other life I barely remember.

  I turn to watch them disappear out the door. Rory and Ellie set up the palapa near the pool for testing. I guess, if you gotta take an all-day test, this isn’t a bad way to do it.

  “Don’t be mad at me,” Rory says, grabbing hold of my arm and tugging me towards her.

  But I am kinda mad. “You should’ve talked to me about it first.”

  “You would’ve said no,” Rory says.

  “Which should’ve been your first clue that this wasn’t a decision you can just make on your own.”

  “I get a say, Five Aston. After all these years of doing what you think is best, it’s my turn to take the reins. And it’s your turn to listen.”

  I don’t want to fight with her. We’re not that kind of couple. We don’t normally have much to argue about.

  But then there’s this little voice in my head that’s telling me, That’s because she gives in to you, Five. And you let her.

  “This is gonna be good for us, Five,” Rory insists.

  But I just don’t agree. And she knows me well enough to see that written all over my face. I just don’t agree.

  She walks off, disappearing outside with the girls.

  “You don’t want to fuck this up,” Mac says, still slurping his cereal.

  “No,” I say, turning to face him. “Fucking this up is the only thing left to do. I need you to steal those tests, Perfect. Maybe we can replace them with altered tests? Like… make sure the girls fail. Yeah, that’s a great idea.”

  “That’s the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard. Are you listening to yourself? Or them? Your family is sick of this place, Five. Paradise isn’t paradise when it’s nothing but a prison. There’s a whole world out there and your family needs to see it.”

  “The whole world is gunning for us, Mac! How do you—of all people—not see that?”

  “Maybe that was true once,” he says, coming towards me, his flip-flops snapping on his feet as he walks. “But hell, even if they were coming, we know their game now. We’re ready for it. And you can just move to Colorado with them. Make them live at home with you. That’s what I’d do.”

  “Colorado?” I just stare at him, speechless. “The worst—absolute fucking worst—place they could go. If they’re looking for us, that’s where they’ll look first!”

  “You’re paranoid, ya know that?”

  “Fuck you.”

  “And stupid,” he says, walking over to the door, like he’s done with me. “Because Colorado is the safest place on Earth. Everyone is already there. Me, Nolan and Ivy, West and Tori, Pax and Cindy, Oliver and Katja. Not to mention your psycho father, and those crazy Shrike sisters. Hell, Spencer Shrike scares the shit out of me, man. And Veronica’s brothers…” He shakes his head. “Dude,” he says, throwing up his hands. “Colorado is filled with some of the most dangerous people ever. And they all seem to be related to you in some way. You’ve practically got an army there. What the fuck more do you need?”

  I try to think real fast. Try to come up with some salient point that will sway everyone back to my side, but Mac makes it to the door and leaves before I come up with it.

  “James!” I yell after him. “James Fenici would never do this!”

  James Fenici knows what’s up. He’s kept his family secluded on an island for longer than me. And he’s the best. The motherfucking best.

  “I’m doing my best!” I yell.

  But there’s no one left to hear me. No one cares what I think. They want their freedom. Fuck safety. Fuck all my best-laid plans. Fuck paradise. My kids want school, and friends, and parties, and dances, and dresses, and boyfriends.

  And my wife wants…

  What does Rory want out of this? More friends? Access to stores? A river in the back yard instead of an ocean?

  But it’s not any of those things and I know it.

  My queen wants her family back. Our small unit just isn’t enough anymore.

  Chapter Fourteen - MAC

  I can sorta see Five’s point. Sorta. But he’s Five fucking Aston. He’s got so much going for him. And yeah, that’s not a guarantee, but there’s no such thing as a guarantee in life. At the very least he’s got the odds stacked in his favor.

  I should probably be more worried than I am. I don’t have shit compared to him. Well, except the other Misters. I think Mysterious and Match make up for most of what I’m lacking. And I’d never count Corporate out when it comes to sneaky plans. Dude had that secret his whole life and never told anyone. It’s impressive. Not to mention Tori. Jesus. And Katja. And Cindy. Plus, Nolan can fly a plane and a helicopter. And he’s rich as fuck. He’s got way more money than I do these days, so we have no shortage of funding.

  Nope. I’m not gonna worry about shit unless I have to, and so far I see no evidence that we’re still in danger. I’m not blind. I know that the security I feel today can turn into imminent danger tomorrow, but why worry about tomorrow when today is all you got?

  “You’re not gonna stay here, are you?” I ask Ellie as I walk up to the table under the palapa. Ellie is out by the pool with Ming, Rory, and the girls. Cindy is here now too. Busy talking to
her newly acquired nieces.

  “Nah,” Ellie says, sliding her arm behind my back and hooking a finger into the belt loop of my cargo shorts. “I hear today is date day.”

  “Is it?” I chuckle.

  “Yes. Cindy just said so.”

  “What’d I say?” she asks, coming towards us.

  “It’s date day, right?”

  She frowns and looks up at me. “Yeah. We wanna have a date day. But I’m in charge of the date planning since Pax is all fucking morose and shit, and I don’t know what to do.”

  “Why’s he morose?” I ask. Morose isn’t a word I’d normally use to describe Mr. Mysterious.

  Cindy blows out a long sigh. “I think he’s worried about getting married.”

  I squint my eyes at her. “Worried how?”

  “He’s been singing this stupid song since yesterday. He was even humming it in his sleep.”

  “What song?” I ask.

  “I Wanna Be an Airborne Ranger.” She sings out the title and I recognize it immediately from some movie I saw as a kid.

  “Hmm…” I say.

  “Yeah.” She huffs. “He’s already missing his life of blood and danger. How can marriage compete with that?”

  “I don’t think that’s it,” Ellie says.

  “No?” Cindy says. “Well, I do. Which means I need a really good idea for date day. Help me!”

  “You should do what Mac did to win me over,” Ellie says.

  “What’d I do?” I ask.

  Ellie shoots me an annoyed look. “The scavenger hunt?”

  “Oh, yeah.” I laugh. “That was pretty fucking cool.”

  “Scavenger hunt…” Cindy thinks this over for a few seconds. “That sounds fun. Tell me all about it.”

  So Ellie starts talking and we relive the night together—leaving out most of the sexy stuff—as Cindy listens.

  Date day, huh? Not a bad idea. I mean, Ellie has been down about this baby stuff. I should make her forget about it by planning a date day. So I say, “Hey, I’ll catch up with you later,” and then leave to go find Nolan. He is, after all. Mr. fucking Romantic. He’ll have a good idea about what makes a good date day.